|Today 17 December 2017|
Good day my fellow hashers as you may have noticed the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
The hash returned to the Binh Chanh Forest last Sunday, apparently we have been there several times before however this was my first time, I enjoyed it. What a pleasant run through glorious mother nature, I am ignoring the navigation of the pile of old shoes and litter. A pleasure to celebrate Jack Offs' birthday with an amazing chocolate cake courtesy of Stray Pussy…mmm delicious, let’s hope her sore leg recovers quickly. Thanks to hares Stray Pussy, Jack Off, Broken Seal and 3 Buck Beaver, our newest inductee, for their efforts much appreciated. Read more about in it in What happened during the last Hash
I would like to take this opportunity to welcome the latest conscripts to the mismanagement team: Miss Bean will be Hash Haberdash and Creamy Tulips will be Hash Liaison.
We are also looking forward to our involvement in the Mekong Inter Hash. Read more in News from the Hash World.
ON ON ICLL.
Run 1396 Jack Offs' Birthday Run
Date: 09/04/2017 Location: Binh Chanh.
The hares for this run were Stray Pussy and Sarah, with Jack Off and
Broken Seal taking good care if the walkers. Plastic Paddy gave the walk report stating that it had been a very good walk with plenty of shade in the woods and sweltering heat on the roads. He had been dismayed to see the state of the footwear of some of the members of the hash and felt is was very considerate of the hares to provide a shoe exchange site on the trail. His dismay at the lack of a beer stop had been alleviated when it became apparent that it had merely morphed into a beer pitstop allowing him to replenish his fluids with minimal time wastage. He gave a score of 6. White Boy Satong Shut Up gave the run report commenting on the copious amounts of shiggy, the numerous checks and false trails, the traditional river crossing and the lost hares. He felt it was very smooth, just the way he likes it. A score of -6 was given making the overall score a very generous 0.
As this was Sarahs' first hare set it was time for her to be properly inducted into the Hashing fraternity. After enduring the ritual humiliation she emerged transformed into our newest member 3 Bucks Beaver. Mrs bean was then presented with a T shirt for 50 runs and Woofter was commended for completing 150 runs, he was not given a T shirt as by this stage any Hasher worth their salt already has a wardrobe overflowing with Hash attire.
The Religious Advisor Broken Seal then called in the virgins, they were Redina from Spain who came with Rebichia, Kuong from Saigon who came with Barely Legal and Nung from Nha Trang who came with Spandex Man. We were also joined by Linh from Vietnam who came once on the Hanoi Hash and was Hoping for a repeat performance courtesy of the Saigon Hash. Our visitor this week was Plastic Paddy from the USA. The penitent returnees were Kate and Bill, who cited laziness as their excuse, and Peker Head who made the incredulous claim that he had cooler friends to hang out.
The charges commenced. The dobber Woofter had been very concerned by what initially appeared to be a very well behaved hash. Then fortunately for him confusion took over. The nubile Call Girl was bounding ahead when she suddenly realised she was responsible for looking for paper and quickly backtracked, she also crossed a line which should never be crossed on the Hash. Lickalotopus was seen to be way off in the distance with a large group group of Hashers led by Stevie Blunder who insisted that as there were so many of them they must be right. Strength in numbers does not protect against incorrect decisions, as Trump supporters are quickly learning, and the complete lack of any paper should have been a clue that these stubborn hashers had lost the plot. Mrs Bean had then come thundering past elbowing civilised Hashers out of the way in an astonishing display of competitive running. These reprobates all took their punishments in the form of down downs.
Charges were then laid against some of the Hashers in regards to deportment. Alanah couldn't keep her hands off her hips, Stevie Blunder was completely lacking in Hash attire and Peckerhead had managed to lose his soul on the walk.
Next we were on to transport. The Eurotrash were charged in place for the absent Finnish for believing that hobby horse riding was a legitimate sport. Apendadictomy doppelganger Shithouse was then charged for failing to catch the bus for the trip to the brewery and therefore missing out on valuable drinking. Finally the Americans were charged for failing to fully instruct their teenage gangsters on the correct choice of get-getaway car when you are incapable of using a stick shift.... I think they mean gear stick!
The On On was held at the Vietnamese Street Market where everyone had the challenging experience of ordering whatever they fancied to eat and paying for it themselves.
And that’s all for this week, watch this space for more Hash antics next week
Sexy Eyes signing off
Run 1397 Paddy Fags Birthday is celebrated with the return of Katoyboy
Hares: Paddy Fag, Katoyboy, Lickalotopus, Alannah
Next Sunday's' Run will be in Nhi Binh and will be a celebration of two auspicious events with the On On being hosted at La Pizzeria Au Parc. Alanna is a virgin hare so you will need to bring your thinking caps.
The bus will leave from the Caravelle at 2 pm sharp, so better be there 10-15 minutes early. There will not be a pickup in District 2.
News from the Hash World
The Mekong Inter Hash will soon be hosted in Vietnam. Nha Trang Hash have expressed a desire to hold the event and we have offered to help them. Their “shitty trails” could be enhanced by hares from the Saigon Hash, volunteers would be welcome. We have also offered our expertise in the provision of T-shirts and goodie bags, creative ideas will be considered. Our very own General Erection has kindly volunteered to coordinate the registration process.
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