|Today 17 December 2017|
Good day fellow hashers. Run 1398 travelled north out of HCMC to another of our popular hash areas, Binh Duong. Was it me or was that one of the most humid damp runs we’ve undertaken in a long time. Good planning by Apendictamy, Katoyboy and Broken Seal our hares for the beer stop, missed by Stevie Blunder, this is what happens when you’re a FRB. He was suitably iced for this misdemeanour.
I have several packs of Hash Business cards, which I am already handing out at the various engagements I attend. If you feel you could help promote our Hash I can give you some, Fine Arse has taken a few already.
Get your thinking caps on! It’s Chi Chi’s naming this Sunday, I look forward to hearing some imaginative and ingenious names from the circle.
Best wishes to Katoyboy he’s heading back to Europe via some sex tourism in Thailand. Noticed how the beer consumption has increased over the last couple of weeks. The now “Not so Ginger Minge” graced us with his presence which added to the increased level of MT bottles.
Read more about last Sundays run in What happened during the last Hash
I’m stilllooking for someone to help keep a note on the amount of beer we consume on the hash, i.e. how many full empty crates of beer go back under the bus as we depart the circle, how many full crates of empties are on the bus when we alight at the end.
I Choked Linda Lovelace (no apologies for any mistakes or omissions)
Run 1398 Palinka-Malinka Run
Date: 23/04/2017 Location: Binh Duong.
The hares for this run were Broken Seal and Katoyboy. Appendadicktomy took good care of the walkers although he had neglected to ensure the safe return of his cohare Room Service. Tom gave the walk report describing how their fearless leader rocked their confidence by stating that he had never been on the walk before. Despite this he managed to turn 3.5 km into 5km whilst claiming that they were not lost. He did achieve the primary goal though of finding the beer stop and the bus. He gave a score of -10. Ginger Minge gave the run report stating that it was typically fucked up despite the hares being given a map by Paddy Fag and claiming to have reccied it 3 or 4 times. He also noted that t was very hot which was not cool, fortunately the beer at the stop was. A score of -10 was given making the overall score -12.
Miss Saigon was then called in to receive his 100 run T shirt, this is quite an achievement given the number of years he has been hashing!
The Religious Advisor Broken Seal then called in the virgins. The y were all from Vietnam; Kieu came with her friend and Vun stated that Hoa made her come, Hoa however had had to use the internet to make sure she came. The penitent returnees were Ginger Minge who has been ‘working’ in Thailand and Peckerhead who repeated his extraordinary claim of having cooler people to hang out with. We were also joined by Hot lips from Australia and Paul from Canada who had both taken time out from their sex tours.
The charges commenced with the dobber Shithouse Who charged both General erection and Peckerhead with being front running bastards. Somehow Peckerhead had persuaded General Erection to follow him down a false trail resulting in both of them being mile in front of the pack. He also charged Ginger Minge, his sudden loss of his protective orange hair has obviously affected his confidence. However it was felt to be unnecessarily cautious of him to run in a sun hat and have a solar charger on his arm when it was actually raining. Next up was Katoyboy who took it upon himself to perform a striptease in the middle of the run proclaiming that his T shirt was not made for tropical conditions. However judging by the state of his bared chest neither was his body!
Stevie blunder was then up on numerous charges. In his enthusiasm for following the trail he missed the beer stop and sabotaged 2 of the checks by breaking them in all directions before finally forgetting to wear Hash habberdash in the circle. Paddy fag had also had his entire Monday night run ruined by following Stevies advice not to bring any money. His lack of dong had resulted in many a missed opportunity as the run had gone past accommodating large breasted ladies, flexible enthusiastic Ladyboys and helpful capitalist ready to expand his mind in a variety of ways.
Katoyboy then pulled in Appendadictomy and White Boy Satong Shut Up in order to investigate the circumstances of the disappearance of a poor Vietnamese woman into the depth of Malaysia. Fortunately the GM had used his contacts and ascertained from Room Service that the fault lay with Appendadictomy who had shipped her off with false information on a supposed visa issue. He was duly iced. Katoyboy then continued by charging his friends Tom and Paul who only seem to be capable of coming when he is around.
The O’Reilly amongst us was then charged. He has recently been sacked from his job at Fox News for degeneracy including sexual harassment. He obviously confused the Fox News studio with the hash circle, an easy mistake to make given the quality of the information in both. Staying with the Americans a gross miscarriage of justice was laid at their feet. One of their decorated Navy Seals who served his fellow Americans admirably is in danger of losing his military pension for continuing to service them as a porn star. It also appears that on the subject of America the erudite Venezuelans are losing the plot. Despite being down to their last $10 billion with poverty and famine looming they still managed to donate $500,000 for Trumps Inauguration. Such generosity definitely deserves a down down!
A matter of some concern was then raised by General Erection. He pointed out that the fantastic Australian Prime minister is protecting his people effectively from invasion by ensuring only those who can speak proper Australian will be able to enter. Consternation rippled through the assembled hashers as the implications of this dawned on them. Paddy Fag and Jack Off will never again be able to enter their chosen homeland and we will be stuck with them forever! Oblivious to the emotional despair that the hashers were experiencing Paddy Fag then proceeded to charge the Australians. On his arduous endeavor to secure Australian citizenship he has been given a book on Australian culture. It was the easiest subject he had ever been required to study: exceedingly brief and consisting merely of drinking, fighting and cheating at cricket, suddenly everyone wanted to be Australian!
The On On was a beaut, at the Winking Seal with bonzer grog and tucker.
Time to rack off, hooroo mate.
Hares: Fucking Everywhere, Shithouse, Turnoff Runny Yolk and Dick Lace
The Dutch will be well over quota, again, as today is their national day, the King’s day. Or, it used to be, but this new King, who likes a beer or two, refused to be born on exactly the 30th of April, so in fact the King’s Day is a few days earlier.
With an overdose of experienced hares expect a seriously good run, with lots of checks to keep the FRBs, right, in check and more than enough paper. We are considering a walk, a run and an Xtra Long run. Let us know if you want it XXXL (to match one of Paddy Fag’s more recent T-shirts).
Thank heavens, it will be in Dong Nai (Long Thanh) again, so beautiful countryside and, as an extra bonus, a pickup in D2.
The bus will leave from the Caravelle at 2 pm sharp, so better be there 10-15 minutes early.
News from the Hash World
The next Harriettes run will be on the on the 5th of May in District 1 and the rumour is they will be going dutch.
The Monday Hash runs every Monday - surprisingly enough! The start point is always posted on Facebook so please get into the habit of checking it out if you want to run with them.
The Mekong Inter Hash will soon be hosted in Vietnam. Nha Trang Hash have expressed a desire to hold the event and we have offered to help them. The trails could be a collaborative effort between Nha Trang and Saigon Hares, volunteers would be welcome. We have also offered our expertise in the provision of T-shirts and goodie bags, creative ideas will be considered. Our very own General Erection has kindly volunteered to coordinate the registration process.
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