|Today 24 August 2017|
A CLAVA CURRIT CUM A FORSIT BIBENS
Greetings my fellow Hashers
Many thanks to Hares Barely Legal and Unzip Me Quick for their efforts, it's much appreciated. Read more about last Sundays run in What happened during the last Hash
Fortunately we managed to find our wayward Hasher, his experiences of trekking around the mountains of the world kept him in good stead. Our late arrival enabled us to utilise his motorbike. Derek was quickly found. It will be Dereks' initial Hare Set this coming Sunday so get your thinking caps on please, an interesting name is required for this, hiking, mountaineering Scottish teacher from Aberdeen. The Hash will be heading off to Long Tan again on Sunday, see below for details on Next week's Run.
It seem our receding hairline has become very sparse, only a couple of strands left before it is all gone. You will need to hurry up and sign up for a run if you wish to avoid seeing it disappear altogether. Seriously though, we need hares for the runs coming up in June and July.
Pleased to see Fucking Everywhere back, we wish him a speedy and full recovery, I did gaze upon him leaning over having a conversation with a pavement. Pray tell? Is this normal Dutch/Hollander/Netherland behaviour?
My colleagues in the office have told me that Alana has improved slightly from her auto immune issues. Good news indeed.
The Miss management meeting is at 7pm on 17/5/17 upstairs at Game On. An internal audit has already been completed, thanks go to :- F*kcoffee, Shithouse, Miss Bean and Sexy Eyes.
I’m still looking for someone to help keep a note on the amount of beer we consume on the hash please.
I Choked Linda Lovelace (no apologies for any mistakes or omissions)
Run 1401 The Almost Criminal Run
Date: 14/05/2017 Location: Binh Hoa, Duong Nai.
The hares for this run were Barely Legal for the runners, with Unzip Me Quick taking care of the walkers. The trail was through an new area in Binh Hoa and incorporated everything that hashers love: Plantations, rice paddies, mud, pagodas and of course a beer stop. The walk report was given by the youngest member of our group this week who comment on the fact that it made him go up and down a lot areas and informed us that he managed to loose his whole leg in the mud. Luckily he also managed to find it again. He also felt that the plants had been particularly vicious on this walk as they had attacked him twice. He gave a score of 10. Kim gave the run report agreeing that it had been particularly muddy but also very nice. He had no complaints about the plants. He had also noticed that it should be correctly classified as an A to A to B run. He let us know that the hare had lulled him into a false sense of security at the beginning of the trail by paving the way with paper, however the latter half of the run prove a much more challenging hunt for the paper. One of our hashers failed at this task, luckily at this point our lost soul returned to us on the back of his rescuers motorbike. A score of -20 was given making the overall score -10.
Paddy Fag and Jack off were then called into the circle and saluted for completing 450 and 350 runs respectively. Then Stevie Blunder and Shithouse were called into the circle and thanked for the design and supple of the 1400th T shirt which has now become the preferred fashion for the hasher out and about in Saigon. It was noted that they had paid particular attention to the fabric for the ladies shirts ensuring that it goes translucent when wet, perfect for those wet T shirt competitions.
The Religious Advisor Broken Seal then called in the visitors and returnees. They consisted Hairless Balls form England, Safe Sex and Fucking Everywhere all of whom claimed that they had been too busy to come!
Aphrodisiac then charged Stevie Blunder with being unsteady on his feet. She had been chasing him on a couple of occasions and both times he had fallen over in the mud. He pointed out that he was merely practicing falling for her. Paddy Fag then charged the Pomms with uncharacteristic behaviour. They had had the audacity to try to teach Paddy Fag how to wash the mud off his legs and everyone knows there's nowt drier than an Englishmans towel. It was then noted that Ms Bean and Slow Gin were both displaying the latest in self harm fashion with matching wounds which bore a remarkable resemblance to carpet burns.
Then the hash went Irish. First they were charged with failing to scale the blasted heights and therefore not being effective in their colonisation. However it was countered that they merely colonised in a more subtle manner with Liverpool, Boston and Chicago being held up as shining examples. Then Jack Off was charged with trying to confuse the Irish. When he rejoined the trail, after a slight detour, just passed a check, Paddy Fag helpful called out "One One. Jack Off replied "the next one is two". That is some very complicated maths for an Irish man to compute. Next we had a charge for Safe Sex who had been spotted imitating Twin Peaks in the Estella pool accompanied by a young, tattooed, Irish Hunk. Paddy Fag was the obvious choice for a stand in.
Casaputa was admonished for trying to kill off the entire Monday Hash by setting the run down the middle of the train tracks. Unfortunately he forgot that the trains in Vietnam actually run on time and so the pack arrived too late for his dastardly plan to come to fruition. However the front runner Stray Pussy has not been see since.
General Erection our esteemed Altzheimers Fitness Runner seems to have been taking his award too seriously. He has stopped drinking and forgotten not to train. His current routine consists of going down in the lift and then running up 15 flights of stair. He claims that this is because he has forgotten how to get the lift to go up but always likes to go down. He gallantly drank his Down Down down.
Finally we had to deal with our failed hashers Derek and Trung. Trung had failed to catch the bus at the Caravelle, failed to find the start of the run, failed to find the Trail but succeeded in finding the bus on his motorbike. Derek had successfully found the start but then failed to find the paper, failed to find the hashers and failed to find the bus. Being Scottish he knew he was the only one who was not lost and luckily his patience paid off when he was found by Barely Legal on the back of Trungs motorbike. It was a very cosy ride back to the bus.
Sexy Eyes signing off
Hares: I Choked Linda Lovelace, Sexy Eyes, Derek
The run will be in Long Tan, Dong Nai. Having successfully managed to loose an entire hash Derek has decided that it is time for him to take on the task of being a hare. He will be joining I Choked Linda Lovelace and Sexy Eyes to set a virgin trail though the beautiful shaded backwaters of the Long Tan region of Vietnam. If you are resident in District 2 you may be pleased to note that there will be a District 2 pick up.
The bus will leave from the Caravelle at 2 pm sharp, so better be there 10-15 minutes early.
For those of you who are sticklers for details, please keep an eye on the Facebook page where additional details will be posted as they become available.
News from the Hash World
The next Harriettes run will be on the on the 2nd of June.
The Monday Hash runs every Monday - surprisingly enough! The start point is always posted on Facebook so please get into the habit of checking it out if you want to run with them.
The Mekong Inter Hash will soon be hosted in Vietnam. Nha Trang Hash have expressed a desire to hold the event and we have offered to help them. The trails could be a collaborative effort between Nha Trang and Saigon Hares, volunteers would be welcome. We have also offered our expertise in the provision of T-shirts and goodie bags, creative ideas will be considered. Our very own General Erection has kindly volunteered to coordinate the registration process.
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