|Today 24 June 2017|
A Currit Coetus Cum A
Greetings fellow hashers.
Broken Seal will be departing these shores shortly, no longer able to bear the monstrosity of single headed beings. Before he goes he will be setting a final hash for us, click here to skip to information about the next hash.
We will need attempt the impossible and find a replacement for the irreplaceable. Anyone wishing to take on the role of Religious Advisor should contact me. We also need someone to check the number of empty crates of beer on the bus at the end of the hash.
We are in imminent danger of being hareless, we are down to our last hare. Time to step up to the plate, accept the challenge and sign up to defend your Hash!
Alannah, I have been informed, is making steady progress and can walk with the aid of a stick. We look forward to seeing her back on the hash soon.
I Choked Linda Lovelace
Date: 04/06/2017 Location: Dong Nai
The hares Casa Puta and Afrodissiac were correct, it was a beautiful run and the circle was at a very scenic location. Unfortunately it was inaccessible by bus leading to much confusion as the hashers hashed to the circle before starting the hash and hashed back to the bus after finishing the hash and circle.
At the end of the circle at the start the hash Foam Me 2 had the audacity to start taking picture without the authority of the GM so at the start of the circle at the end of the hash she was iced by the authority of the GM! Fine Arse and Harmonica Lewinski soon joined her for fighting in the circle; more on that later.
The run report was given by Sky Lark and it went like this:
The sky was dark, the weather was cool and in our way the hare put a bull.
There were walkers, there were runners as the hare had spoken
and if unlucky there were balls to be broken.
We saw pigs, we saw dogs, we saw geese, we saw duck,
but after all that who gives a flying monkey.
The hashers were reeling from the shock of such a poetic report and almost missed the score of -10. Mai then gave the walk report in a far more traditional manner. She said it was a very nice walk and was particularly impressed by the old man who had given flowers to her…… boyfriend! She gave a score of -6 making the overall score -8.
Then it was on to the Awards. Sexy Eyes has somehow managed to do 100 runs and this was Afrodissiac’s first hare set so T shirts exchanged. It was also the 10th run of our motorbike hero Tuong, who works in a bank, plays tug-of-war and is an expert in Muay Thai. After some mass debating the perfect name was selected and Tug Muay Dong was initiated into the Hash.
Our religious advisor was very happy this week as he had virgins to educate. Matt from Saigon (he really didn’t look vietnamese!) came with Nestor; Edda came with Elaine and Lan Oan came with a friend. The visitors were Comes at Last from Taiwan and Sky Lark from London who were both here avoiding work and Jean who is an international jetsetter currently residing in Singapore. The returnees were Fine Arse, Graham and Where's his Balls who have just been to lazy to come!
Then it was on to the charges. Cock-a-Leaky had managed to do a spectacular slip, trip drop and roll and yet had rebounded to his feet completely unscathed.
Saki Sucker has been very remiss in his treatment of Phuc My 2. After their first 42 k mountain marathon he had given her a massage for which she offered a very generous reward, however he claimed to be too tired. When arranging their second marathon together she had suggested that he conserve his energy for the night time activities she was offering by doing the 21km run. He was adamant that he could do the 42 km with energy to spare but much to her dismay he was once again too tired. He even had no energy in Tokyo when she visited him and she is finding it all very unsatisfying! Jack off followed up on this charge with one of his own. It appears that Saki Sucker has also been causing confusion amongst the fish population. When he ran past the fish pond the inhabitants went into a complete frenzy unable to believe that a Japanese man could run past them without eating them!
Cash Puta was then charged with getting his km confused. We understand that as a Spanish Taxi driver in a previous life he would be familiar with the very short spanish km that allows them to charge ridiculously high prices for all the trips they arrange. However this is not Spain and it was a fixed price trip! Phuc My 2 also charged Casa Puta along with Afrodissiac. Their motorbike decided to get one of its many punctures right outside her house. In an anguished call she was asked to save their lives. If she had realised this would entail cooking them a meal she would never have let them in.
At this point Saki Sucker, Foam Me 2, Nestor and Jean were all iced for fashion abuse.
Fine Arse and Tug Muay Dong were then called in by Harmonica Lewinski who suggested that they would make a perfect coupling, he is a Muay Thai expert and she had caused HL to be iced by kicking him in the face, a feet never before accomplished.
Finally Sky Lark encouraged us to join the Japanese Nash Hash October. Then there was some social drinking before the long walk back to the bus.C
That's all for this week.
Sexy eyes signing off
Date: 11/12/2017 Location: Phu Thanh, Dong Nai
The hares this week will be Broken Seal, Unzip Me Quick, Mayumi Vice and Lickalotapuss
Can it never end? Broken Seal is at it again but this time with a simple 'A-A' run in a beautiful green Latex forest, avoiding water buffalo and giant watering holes wherever possible. Plenty of chances for good easy running with lots of natural checks and the ability to get lost on trail. Weather pending you may get a little wet & dirty, but that's the way the Hashers like it! We will be returning to the backwaters of Phu Thanh, South-East of Ho Chi Minh City.
If you are a resident in District 2 you may be pleased to note that there will be a District 2 pick up.
On On has been organised to be at Winking Seal.
The bus will leave the Caravelle at prompt, so please make sure you are there by . For directions please click here.
The Hash always needs hares let us know when you want to set your trail. In fact there are no hares currently for 18/ 07 /17 so this is your chance to do your bit.
The Saigon Monday Hash House Harriers run every Monday - surprisingly enough! The start point is always posted on Facebook so please get into the habit of checking it out if you want to run with them (details here).
The Saigon Hash House Harriettes will be hosting a run on the first Friday of next month. Details will be available in the preceding week.
For details please click here.
The Japanese Nash Hash will be in October. Registration is open and details can be found here.
Next year we are hoping the Indochina Mekong Hash will be hosted in Vietnam. Nha Trang Hash have expressed a desire to hold the event and we have offered to help them. The trails could be a collaborative effort between Nha Trang and Saigon Hares, volunteers would be welcome. We have also offered our expertise in the provision of T-shirts and goodie bags, creative ideas will be considered. Our very own General Erection has kindly volunteered to coordinate the registration process.
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